Depression affects millions of people in Canada every year. It can cause sadness, loss of interest in things that used to bring pleasure, and thoughts of suicide. Counselling and Therapy can help people learn new coping strategies, work through hard topics and improve their relationships with those around them. Seeing someone you love struggle with depression is tough. Support is often hard to find and the stigma of having depression makes people reluctant to get treatment. If your friend, family member or partner is struggling with depression, here are a few gentle things you can do to help:   

Talk about it!

If you suspect your family member has depression, start by talking about it. This will give you an opportunity to ask more questions and learn more about what’s going on in their life or the support they need. Depression is what’s known as an “invisible illness”. Meaning that from the outside, most people appear healthy and capable, but on the inside they’re really struggling to keep it together. Start by acknowledging this and bringing more attention to mental health in general. If you’re unsure how to bring this up with your loved one, a good prompt is “Hey! I noticed you’ve been feeling pretty sad lately. Is there anything I can do to help?”  

Get Curious

If you suspect that your loved one has depression, you can ask them questions about their mood, behavior, sleep patterns, appetite, energy level, and concentration (but only if they’re open to it!). You don’t want to interrogate your loved one or appear judgmental. Keep your questions open and light and always come from a place of wanting your loved one to find happiness and ease in their day-to-day life.

Be patient & don't try to fix them

This one is important! It's crucial to understand that depression isn't something that can be fixed overnight. Instead, it's a condition that requires treatment (often consistent and ongoing treatment). Your role as their loved one is to know that they have someone by their side who won’t judge them or criticize them for their illness. Unnecessary pressure or expectations will not help them heal. However, if you're willing to put in the work to support them, you will see positive changes in your loved one's life.

Help them find a therapist who specializes in treating depression

A good therapist will listen carefully to what your loved one says and does, and will try to understand why he or she feels depressed. They will then use a variety of techniques and treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), Guided self-help, Interpersonal Therapy, Behavioural Activation, and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) to help your loved one identify negative thoughts and behaviors that contribute to their depression. These techniques can teach people to recognize when they're feeling down and to take steps to improve their mood. While there are many different treatments available, some people prefer individual therapy while others prefer group therapy.

Lastly, let them know they're not alone!

Solidarity and support can go a long way when working with depression. Depressed people often feel secluded and isolated, so having a person by their side to remind them that they have a friend that cares about them is extremely important. If you’re able to, check in on them regularly and make sure they know they’re not alone in this!

DISCLAIMER: It's normal to feel sad sometimes, especially when you're going through a difficult situation. However, if your loved one has been feeling down for more than two weeks, he or she should seek professional help. If your loved one is having suicidal thoughts, they need immediate medical attention.

Our Registered Clinical Counsellors, Christine Dobbelsteyn and Deborah Barkowsky are available for In-Home and Online Counselling throughout the Lower Mainland, BC. They can see clients in Vancouver, Burnaby, West Vancouver, South Surrey, Langley, Delta, Tsawwassen and Ladner. Counselling is accepted by most major Extended Health Providers, and both Christine and Deborah work with ICBC clients. Click the link below to book an appointment.